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Board 8 RAP BATTLE: tha LEAGUE 2 Week 1
The First Week of the Board 8 RAP BATTLE: tha LEAGUE 2 Tournament. ''~Week 1~ Battle 1: The Beginning vs. DigitalIncision ~The Score~ The Beginning: 6 DigitalIncision: 5 ~The Raps~ The Beginning I vaguely remember a time not far removed When TB rap-battled DI, but it wasn't Realo-Approved By the time it was over, it was clear who'd been outdone DI was buried under a votal that toppled 14 to 1 There was crying and self doubt, greater thans pointing my direction DI contemplating if he could bounce back from board-wide rejection So, why even bother with this week? Is it just to waste my flow? It's got to be for more than this Cherry Coke-sponsored dog and pony show That's OK, though. That was only target practice for this week's main event Where you have to go through all the shame again to your heart's discontent So, DI, while you were too concerned with a topic jerking off Marcy Playground The Beginning was waiting patiently on his throne to be formally crowned DigitalIncision Beginning your version must be a little hazy That recollection is ****, son you must be crazy You may have taken that battle, but this where it counts I'm comin' strong, regardless of your whacked accounts You came hot, rollin' one sick flow, beasted a little but its still my show An' for tonight's show how about a game you may know I spy with my little eye--twelve-lines-supplied by-this-guy-tonigh' Twelve little lines in which you apply yah lies A full "flow" that doesn't run it trickles Were those insults, Beginnin, 'cause really that tickles An' speakin' of Marcy Playground this reminds of this song "Bye Bye," TB, its clear ya don't belong. The Beginning Ok, DI, I'm a man of the present, so I won't focus on the past After we're done here, your lines will be the King's, "God Almighty we're free at last!" Though I'd listen to X if I were you, "put the word 'freedom' out of your vocabulary." You can never escape my grasp, I'm the hunter, and you're on the open prairie You can pray in the monastery, oh but on the contrary, they'll never be answered "Hi, God, it's DI, tell the Beginning to stay away, he's nothing but a bastard!" As it falls on echoes, I suggest you convert pagan, No force can block me, I "tear down the wall" in the words of Ronnie Reagan All you can say, DI, is "oh boy that tickles," you're a posting Elmo toy Don't worry son, one of these days, Geppetto will finally turn you into a real boy And when I see your name next to mine? I can't help but be overjoyed Cause I hate to break it to you, this wasn't deja vu, again you got destroyed DigitalIncision "Free at last" from your bad flow, finally you done You rhyme well but bro but a schme-you-seem ta have shunned There's more to rappin' than the last sound of each word I wonder what rap you listen to or how much you've heard My prayers were already answered 'fore this battle began "Please two raps only" 'cause I didn't wanna hear you spit again But not outta fear or wantin' to stop rappin But mostly because the scheme-you-bring an' ya words you overlappin' Yo ass just got reamed from this verbal arsenal I'm strappin' You really underwhelmed me, TB, I'm-almost-nappin' It really is deja-vu 'cause all I'm really seein is two verses too many from Beginnin this evenin. ---- Battle 2: Ed Bellis vs. MajinZidane ~The Score~ Ed Bellis: 10 MajinZidane: 2 ~The Raps~ Ed Bellis Wake the children, sound the klaxons, tell the Web from Drudge to Sporcle Better let Morgoth and Kaxon know: here comes the hip-hop Oracle Make women grunt, make men cry sweetly; Bellis takes no prisoners Any fool thinks they’ll defeat me? That **** makes less sense than “Vissionerz” Here’s MC MZ, foolish kid, thinks he’s got half a pray-ah Better get his dumb ass good and hid from this poetic playah Either spiky-haired or monkey-tailed you better start repentance Cause you’re predestined to fall and fail before you’ve typed a sentence There’s no hope for ya, this match is tapped before it’s even started Oh, excuse me please – hold up, you rapped? I thought I’d simply farted Gonna wear you down like tire’s tread and break your back like Bane That’s what happens when the great King Ed meets one MajinZidane. MajinZidane recognition alone, ed rasies me high, expecting an unquestioned fold my mission implied, got "kings" in the hole, my gaze is nothing but bold. a kick to the groin to set up my smite, got you stunned while i am stone-cold your defense is good, your coverage is great, but dammit i'm Larry Fitzgerald. i'm not gonna scoop, push the trumpets aside, it's time for an heir to your throne. king ed, they'll all read, "may he rest here in peace" - the words on your quiet tombstone. my rite to ascend, a new age for all, here comes the mighty MZ. my trance lights the hall, like kuja you'll fall, both not quite a matchup for me. you're the first one to die, my horror you fear like an angered freddie or jason. with two seconds left, clutch the ball in my hands, spot up like a fresh Roger Mason. my words pack a punch, like a sword to your heart, my existance is your living hell. take a boot to your skull, throw you down, knock you out, you're a koopa without its green shell. Ed Bellis I laugh at your attempts to make a mock’ry of this process Your decent rhymes are rarer than a Pittsburgh steak at Hoss’s You’re tomato to my pesto in the paragon of sauces Got you crucified like Jesus, guess you really shouldn’ta crossed dis Dunno where you got the message that ‘stone-cold’ rhymes with ‘Fitzgerald’ You read tombstones, I write epitaphs: ‘I shot him, double-barreled’ Freddy Krueger ain’t got **** on me; it’s your life that’s imperiled I’ve got rap’s own Power Cosmic, and you’re nothin’ but my herald You’re like Roger Mason, that’s for sure, but not for being ''clutch It’s because you’re full of bull (did the italics spoil too much?) I guess subtlety just ain’t your thing, so I’ll be blunt and such: When your raps have faded, dead and gone, no one will miss them much. MajinZidane they don't spoil a thing, you must be reposed, dreaming of a fantasy my words are your king, this here is real life, my own exclusive rhapsody. this dyne is your fault, this stage is my 'show,' i'm out of your max capacity. you're tied to a halt, with nowhere to go, i'll show you my fearless tenacity. a sword is your bane, i'll steal from you too, i'm saying you might as well flee. your hits i will feign, your attacks barely strain, like a mage with zero MP. my words are your scorn, i aim for the horn, i'm fire and you're just a tree i hold A and stare, quick spin and i tear, and now you're an amputee. my fists are like steel, my kicks you can't parry, you're a mortal while i have immortality. my pain you can't heal, my skill is unreal, this fight was a perfect fatality. so ed how's it feel, you're not quite ahead, and hey - i'm just a rookie. you can squirm, cry or squeal, you're not getting free, i'm Han and you're my pet wookie. ---- Battle 3: BBallman7 vs. WalrusJump ~The Score~ BBallman7: 10 WalrusJump: 1 ~The Raps~ BBallman7 I'm a God, you should learn this, get back on your knees and finish your service You look nervous...retreat to the surface, Giving head is your purpose win this match I deserve this, I was born to be a wordsmith you belong in the circus, In case you ain't heard this, let me try and reword it, Get DQ'd, say I didn't earn it before they turn in the verdict You're worthless...beaten and shirtless My verses are worshipped, yours are furthest from perfect. You're in over your head, Mr. Double You Jay, I'll leave you for dead, so what do you say? I can start a riot and still get a parade And there won't be a David beating a Goliath today. WalrusJump You are correct - your David won't stand a chance against my rhymes Your weak-ass **** in a slingshot won't kill me this time Go ahead and call yourself God - I won't listen, I'll just murder ya Ripping your blasphemous ass to shreds just like Gojira The fire that I spit out of my hypothetical lips Will be your kiss of death, your unholy apocalypse Compared to my flow, your stuff ain't nothing more than mild Which is why you might as well be a red-headed stepchild Are you ready, BBallman? 'Cause these raps will leave you bawling You won't be able to lay anything down, 'cause you'll just be squalling The appalling devastation here will allow for nothing more But that's par for my course - just chalk one up to Walrus' score. BBallman7 I can rap like a kid too, you're a dick wad, And you're getting beaten worse than a Michael Vick dog. I already won, you're getting crucified like my only son, The damage is done, I'm second to none. You should get extra lines, cuz this just seems criminal, You don't understand syllables, I said I'm a God, take that **** literal, This ain't political, your chances are minimal My first shot pierced your heart, your condition is critical. You think my flow is mild, but yours is nothin' but broken, You say that you're Goliath, what the **** are you smokin'? I make a living killing noobs, business is open, And now you're choking on your words so plainly misspoken. WalrusJump Get this guy to a hospital - he's spewing nonsense 'Cause no one sane can give this piss-poor a defense You're not the father of Jesus, you just need to see a shrink Because your title hopes were always completely doomed to sink I may just be a kid, but it's your **** that's juvenile Looking at your pathetic effort is really just vile My eyes are bleeding here, but my raps will draw your blood The way you rap, you ain't fit to be anything but mud My flow is broken - but the way you say it is mistaken It's overpowered, unbeatable, leaving you forsaken Shaken by my ability, totally humiliated But when facing me that's just the way it was meant to be fated. ---- Battle 4: Jukkie vs. Xtremeblur ~The Score~ Jukkie: 0 Xtremeblur: 13 ~The Raps~ Jukkie As I enter the scene, my rhymes be blowin' up Blur ain't never seen, the times they be showin' up Try as hard as you can, but you will never understand I shoot you down like an Afghan, smack you with my backhand I can pop, I can roll, I can hit you with the southern soul This ain't no co-op, so go ahead troll, stroll on while I get my goal It just ain't your time, and with me it never will be This is my limelight nicca can ya feel me? When ****in' with me you just outta your zone, you an afterthought Everything you do is for naught, go ahead and be distraught Try to appease me, followin' the bylaws, yell about my shortfalls You couldn't squeeze in these drawlz if you was my dick and balls Xtremeblur Allow me to present a brief introduction - the name is Blur Newcomer to this rap battle junction, but a veteran prior So before you think you're facing a nobody, I'd like you to understand I've been rockin' the mic generations before your conception was planned The eighth wonder of the world, a lyrical prowess so refined The words they assign to my mind are as of yet undefined And about my skill it seems to me you've been grossly misinformed The only afterthought here is your own "Nope, Unicorns" There's a reason your paper's running away from you and your pens try to hide The lines that's coming outta that mouth are worse than GLaDOS' lies So please go back and retract all those rhymes you're readying in your reply You couldn't ghostwrite if your invisible ink pen died Jukkie Beep, beep echo, your whole rap sounds like a song by Nickeback You repeat the flow, questionin' me? Step off son, you hella wack I may be all about unicorns, and rainbows, and pimpin' But you nothing but a Blur in name and with women You gotta be better when you rappin' with the Jukkie I'm made outta cheddar, throw on a vest you can be my caddie I mix it up as I go, but I never drop the flow You stay low, that's the best position for you to blow Now I know it's burden with your slow wit, but I gotta give you credit Like with your sister jam her, 31 times I've hit that ***** with my hammer Well this is it Blur the end of the show Don't feel bad, you just lost to a pro. Xtremeblur My vocation is the vicious verbose I recite on occasion Jukkie's sloppy cop-outs are hastily bickering and lazily written impersonations Blur's the underground king with a sting so shattering it breaches land I panned my view to the sky as planned to induce a high that extended my wingspan A rap mastermind comin' with the introspective, highly trained with no deception Turnin' the world upside down just to ease up your perspective, call it a blessin' Now I await the next contender who's ready to be slayed in various ways rarely seen Poor Anri's unaware he's up against the second coming of DC - I'll leave this last bit short and sweet I Rock more than Aesop, my Technique's Immortalized Iller than Nas and more skill than Jurrassic 5 You're Doomed, MF, it's Ludacris to even try This battle is a bigger tragedy than the day that Pac died ---- Battle 5: Aeon Azuran vs. TheKnightOfNee ~The Score~ Aeon Azuran: TheKnightOfNee: ~The Raps~ Aeon Azuran TheKnightOfNee Aeon Azuran TheKnightOfNee ---- Battle 6: sonicblastpunch vs. nintendogirl1 ~The Score~ sonicblastpunch: 16 nintendogirl1: 6 ~The Raps~ sonicblastpunch this charismatic conqueror of all mediums electric again selected to showcase the modern face of dialectic finds the quality of his opponent low for this release 'cause if incompetence were artwork you would be a masterpiece it's not to say i disbelieve yer chances of clever retorts but i'll tear through yer best defense like a chainsaw through pillow forts the forecast for my victory parade's sunny like tammy sytch once i've scrambled yer brains and rocked yer head like i'm biff slamkovich so get yerself resigned to bein decommissioned and delisted yer chances are like women on the internet, nonexistent or so bloated and hideous as to be an affront to god the widest girl in the whole world -- the broadest broad abroad so i'll take the food right from yer mouth when i'm proclaimed the winner because 'nintendogirl' rearranges to spell 'got nil dinner' nintendogirl1 Illiterate, I knew you were, innumerate is new, In 12 bars come my answer, you can keep your extra two. You reckon you’re a conqueror, a dialectic warrior, I reprimand your thoughts in this, your attitude gets sorrier. Conqueror Caesar, call me Brutus, Lord above Jesus, call me Judas. Those forced to listen to you, by now begging, “please god shoot us” So that’s two who face the beast, but now it’s Clay who’ll on you feast, Say your last words, I’ll play priest, floating, stinging with a rate increased. You stand tall, for a man at the end, watching his life start to fail, I’d commend you for that, in an instant, a flash, if only you weren’t so frail, So I’ll pass on dinner, I’ve better then that, because in the cabinet next to me, Moet et Chandon, unopened as yet, and a schedule empty till 3. sonicblastpunch i'd forgot yer alcoholism but thanks for the reminder that you've had it ever since yer momma drank with you inside her and i suspect once delivered you had been mistaken maybe for a fine martini 'cause it's clear you were a shaken baby even now as an adult you can't be counted on to eat yer dinner, dialogue and brain are all unformed and incomplete you mumble about pugilism as though success you're expectin you're swingin but never blockin cause yer face ain't worth protectin so when i select my star punch it'll leave yer vision swimmin just like tyson of punch-out i'm very skilled in beatin women but don't think yer gender is the reason you're sent packin home the problem's obviously yer extra twenty-first chromosome nintendogirl1 You’re an underaged user to whom liquor makes sicker But that don’t give you the right to kick a vicar any quicker, And though I ain’t, ecclesiastic, I know you’ll find me, enthusiastic, As I dominate, trip the light fantastic, your overhaul is gonna be drastic And as for Tyson, to a point I agree, You’re the big name, sell-out, who served time in Cell B. Crimes against rhymes, against the Nurembergs of grammar, Sit with Hammer in the slammer, till you spit, not stammer. You’ve a woman beating Punch? So you’re a puppet collector, Leave it with Judy, I’m a much greater spectre, My communiques amaze, upon my gaze your look stays, But you don’t interest me, I got my cabriolets. ---- Battle 7: TimJab vs. Biolizard ~The Score~ TimJab: 0 Biolizard: 10 ~The Raps~ TimJab Before we begin, let me fill you in, Set one thing straight and let you know where you rate, You're Biolizard, I'm Sonic and this is your final battle, I'mma spin dash your ass leave you mutilated like cattle, Like Johnny Cage I'm claimin Flawless Victory, You're like a steak to me, I'm eatin you alive, Chewin you up, spittin you out watchin you nosedive *BEAT STOPS, TIMJAB GOES ACAPELLA* The winner is easy to guess cuz I spit PK fire like Ness, And your ****s a mess I leave the crowd breathless, Givin TimJobs that make your lady say "OH YES!" *DROPS MIC LIKE BADASS* Biolizard So he finally arrives, droppin' a quick rhyme But respondin' to ya garbage, just a waste of my time A battle over 'fore it even begun You've got 24 hours, so turn your tail an run This Flawless Victory turnin' into Brutality This battle needs to stop, it disturbs my morality I ain't gonna falter, and I ain't scared It just don't sit with me to fight da rappin' impaired Words flowin' through your mouth like stones But it's already worn from eatin' so many 'bones' So put up your next beat to be ripped and torn You've messed with da bull, and next comes da horns TimJab i got 24 hours but baby i'm jack bauer, time to unleash the powers, give your girl a golden shower, make her a catcher like joe mauer, i'm not sweet i'm sour, i bring no flowers, just hit her til she cowers, lizard shows up and says "what's happenin here", things are not as they appear, girls all punch-drunk like she just chugged a beer, she got the look of fear, too bad her dude's a *****, knock lizard out then i hit her from the rear, lizard wakes up 23 hours later, realize timjab ruled his ass like he was a dictator, he says to himself "i wish i was straighter", timjab delivered his ass on a plate like a waiter, and made sure he knew who will always be greater Biolizard You may call it rap, but all I hear is white noise These poor walls of text are what I aim to destroy From cows onto *****es, one subject to another Start instultin, tim, and quit talkin bout your mother The same old insults, all copied an pasted I take comfort in the fact that no real talent was wasted 4 rhymin lines ain't special, every rapper knows how If ya wanna see it done right, I'll show right now The Vader to your Luke, I'm yo daddy, yo master Compared to me, you a lyrical disaster I can see your pain, you poor old bastard But it's over now cause Bio just put you out to pasture ---- Battle 8: RustyMrMokka vs. ExThaNemesis ~The Score~ RustyMrMokka: 2 ExThaNemesis: 10 ~The Raps~ RustyMrMokka Let’s start this off by saying tha name is Rusty The age that your at ExTha is making you look pretty dusty Ya wish you could be me and be playing tha game Except your on the sidelines watching my the rise to fame I know if I’d to Arsenal you’d get excited But I ‘d rather go to a good team like Manchester United Reason is that I’m gonna get paid, look over at my maid Gotta kick back so we both get laid Get another call bout for my next contract raise I’m tha only one to knows who enjoys this much praise The paparazzi wants a interview with me But I say **** them and the people know what type of person I am, y’all see ExThaNemesis It has come to my attention that your vision’s lackin’ clarity. You’re hangin’ on to the disparity that with me and you there’s parity. In all the hilarity, I got the notion that I should help. By exposin’ that your flow’s as cold as the arctic ocean. It came out with no emotion, lacked any sort of devotion... ‘Coz if you think you can beat me, homie your head’s locked. Like a fan that thinks Manny still plays for the Red Sox. So let me fill you in on this Nemesis known as ExTha. I’m worse than white supremacists tryin’ to behead ya. It’s the Age of Me, it’s just like Randy Orton said, When we’re done the lines’ll say Rusty and his boys are dead. Killed by the man that hears voices inside his head. RustyMrMokka Sorry Extha, you can’t keep up wit tha pace You seem to be in last in the middle of this race As always I’m just going way too fast And you gotta learn to stop livin in tha past Cause the future is upon us, you know I’m gonna win To help with your failure, I’ll send you some gin But that doesn’t help your very rough patch And now you want to have a match You’d lose just like Ortan in the middle of a ceil I might just send you to tha depths of hell And when your funeral starts up The people will start drinkin from their cups ExThaNemesis Newspapers read that I bruise faces, I’m a true rapist. Six o’clock news anchors call me the new Jason! Displacin’ and replacin’ Mokka’s face with open spaces. Coz facin’ me’s like wearin’ cleats with no laces…. I’m like a killer from Detroit, and I don’t need steroids. But watch me when these A-Rod A-Bombs get deployed. So you and your three boys think that you can beat me boy? Well **** with me boy and watch your whole street get destroyed! It’s best you’re sticking with football man, coz this ain’t your career. You done seen what happened when you faced RAP’s Premier. And next time you wanna pick on ExTha’s Arsenal, remember. Every ***** that’s ever tried that got DISMEMBERED. ---- Battle 9: Swif7y vs. Forceful Dragon ~The Score~ Swif7y: 11 Forceful Dragon: 1 ~The Raps~ Swif7y thou sayest that thou got the words to spit. but I feel like battling you is lowerin myself a bit. my heart provides a beat at first discreet, so come and listen. my lyrical biorhythm more vivid than a violent vision. i'll have this dragon hissin like a serpent's curses. my sick, ill & allergic verses purges your spirit's surface. your efforts will be worthless once my mind & the beat merges. to crush this verbal virgin with the words i'll be servin. FD is a just a novice at this rap rhyming process. i spit so swift it makes you nauseous, i'm hotter than cajun sauce is. so please accept your losses cause you're dealin with a colossus. so ahead of my time i cast shadows on watches. Forceful Dragon Leave the 'thou's at home this is a board 8 battle Fronting ancient prattle, prepare to be rattled... Don't look now but I'm chasing you, doggedly racin you Easily out pacing you with my elaborate ode Forcibly I'm erasing you, last place is embracing you Fully disgracing you, countless curses bestowed You musta been high just to mimic my class Now I'm up to my thigh with my boot up your *** Infinite acceleration of my force through your mass Those are the physics of rap, for the uneducated next to me you're unrated, your lyrics are hated You're the black sheep of rap, nearly unrelated Swif7y your poetry is old to me, i'll eat your corrosively. you scared like you standin on the sidewalk with frozen feet. my foes repeat their styles so keep prayin the rosary. holdin holy beads hopelessly as swif7 finds souls to reap. when i pierce FD's eardrums with my lyrical blade. it stabs bone, missin this mental slave's miniature brain. better maintain your distance, can't catch my sickness. what i use for toilet paper is your name on my **** list. your physics or philosophy is comedy, your rap gets walked on. bet your last girl was a blow-up doll bought from ebay.com FD you can't handle this, you'll suffer severe damages. more wounds and whiplashes than you can dress with 50 bandages. Forceful Dragon A rappin battle with you marks the weakest of ails When you tally the "damage" I'm only hearin tall tales The facts of it is, to your blades I'm impervious I'm gonna lay it down slow so you better take note of this I'm a symphonic rap prodigy, always center stage Masquerading your rage can't hide truth from my gaze You're severely ecclipsed in this, no hope of a tryst for us Even shakin off the rust I'm Zues to your Polyphemus Does it disturb to lose even before you began? White Knight to Black Queen, outmaneuvered again But for the sake of your aches I'm easing my brakes In memory of your date with mistakes I'll say only; Checkmate. ---- Battle 10: Ayvuir vs. TheLastOblesik ~The Score~ Ayvuir: 0 TheLastOblesik: 6 ~The Raps~ Ayvuir Aww yeh, i've been waiting for this all week When i'm done i'll let you kiss my ass cheek TLO, Your mom's a ho, mind if i give her a go? Blow? fo'sho! Generic banter steals me the show! So you're "TheLast" Well i'll make you extinct Or at least send you to the nearest presinct I only hope you can cope, and dont drop the soap Though guys in the shower will probs need a telescope! A brothers gonna end up grabbing you and using his toys And you can go to a tea party with Mer and his boyz. Your not slick, you'll drop like a brick, cos you ain't got the knack My rap was sick, like a dropkick! Hell yeh...Ayvuir's back! TheLastOblesik Buenas noches hombres de Board 8, asi es Ayvuir Pienso que rapes pero no lo puedo oir Tu cuerpo es practico, entonces lo voy a dividir Si soy el ultimo problema, pero primero seras extinto como Zaire Mi flujo es fuerto, por eso tienes miedo Tu rap es una verguenza, como ilegales en San Diego Eres farsanta como un Michael Owen simulacion Soy el kryptonia que mata con radiacion Podemos jugar al futbol, pero siempre tu falta Soy Barcelona y eres Madrid, lo voy a poner en tu espalda Tu flujo es viscoso, como agua en invierno Mio es muchismo fuerte, mas de infierno TRANSLATION: Good evening guys of Board 8, here's Ayvuir I think that he's rapping but I can't hear him Your body is practice, so I'm gonna divide it I'm the last problem, but first you'll be extinct like Zaire My flow is strong, that's why your scared Your rap is a disgrace, like illegals in San Diego You as fake as a Michael Owen dive I'm the kyrptonite that kills you with radiation We can play soccer, but you're always the loser I'm Barcelona and you're Madrid, I'll put you on your back Your flow is thick, like water in the winter Mine is too hot, hotter than hell Ayvuir Resorting to Spanish cuz your English sucked Well i can speak German, Du bist ge****ed! I have no fear of being extinct like Zaire Cuz you'l be with the dodos after your time here I cheer Owen's dives, they are near perfection On reflection he should probably win an election But im sure like Phoenix you'll raise an objection! TLO, you should have made a better selection. On May Third It shall have occurred Madrid will beat Barca, you will have heard Raul's skill will have your vision blurred I bet now like Berbatov you want to be transferred! TheLastOblesik Ayvuir you're so unhealthy you put the top in Top Ramen When I'm through crushing you, you'll be screaming "mein lamen" Take a loser's hike cause you're on the trail I'll be blazin You may be white as a light but the ****s in you is asian Your defence is a disgrace, a bar-coded shamble And why you talkin about my mama? At least I ain't dating Titus Bramble Feel the pressure on your C4? Yep, that's your neck in the strangle My flow is the ultima weapon, and you're wearing a bronze bangle I don't even have to launch my whole Arsenal on ya I can take you any day, and less then 12 "bars will own ya" It's a shame you paid a transfer fee to rap, why even hassle? Now I gotta aks you this: What do you, FC, and brown ale have in common? A downed Newcastle ---- Battle 11: swordsman12 vs. SensiShadeSlaye ~The Score~ swordsman12: 15 SensiShadeSlaye: 5 ~The Raps~ swordsman12 So here’s my first opponent in this rap competition Soon Swiftly Slain by a tactician’s composition Lyrical ammunition leave ‘em in critical condition Call the rap mortician, demolition is my mission I sprung unexpected like the Spanish Inquisition You’re hung for high treason, ya disgrace the rap tradition Six shots across the belly I’m gankin’ like R. Kelly I PvP on a *****, you’re a shattered Torricelli- Barometer, under too much stress the pressure’s breakin ya Andromeda, chained by lines but God’s forsaken ya No Perseus is savin ya, my sword pierces ya vertebra I murdered ya, Swordsman’s the king reignin’ o’er ya. SensiShadeSlaye I’m supposing the quota in this rap institution Is that words ending in ‘ion’ are the only solution An’ on top of that the second winning formula Is using too many instances of ya ya ya But ya see swords guy I’m a new revolution Ya could say I’m the face of the lyrical evolution Ya outdated yas will do ya no good against Sensei Rapping is my call an’ flow is my propensity Ya call yaself the king but ya talkin’ to yer deity They refer to me as Cthlulu so kneel and swear fealty Otherwise I might be moved to make ya look at my face And force Cokes to hunt for another Rap Battle replace swordsman12 So that’s the best you’ve got? I’m severely disappointed Elementary rhyming and a flow oh so disjointed I’m sendin’ out a sentry, find me better opposition Someone more creative than a nursery rhyme rendition Perhaps your verse was rushed or you aren’t a rappin’ native Maybe your ego’s crushed or your mind is vegetative You call yourself Cthlulu, the rapping evolution A brazen imitation well deserving execution! Look at your dire face? No one will suffer so hereafter Send ya to a higher place, then walk away in laughter One verse was made of “ions” but if anything is positive, When it comes to slaughter, it’s my rapping that is causative! SensiShadeSlaye I must applaud you on yer verbatim and such For your words are “causativin’” my stomach to clutch But other then that well yer thesaurus is whack Yer attempted vocabulary has disrupted yer attack Do you even understand what half yer words mean? I’m thinkin’ yer some kid attemptin’ to StealMySheen This is my story ya see and yer at the last chapter The climax of the book, the attack against the master It’s a bloody epic battle it’s gotcha grabbin’ the pages You gotta know if the survivor is the hero of ages But you ain’t Link, kid, just some punk with a sword And Shade is the master of an endless demon horde ---- Battle 12: Fetusbucketeer vs. Seginustemple ~The Score~ Fetusbucketeer: 5 Seginustemple: 5 ~The Raps~ Fetusbucketeer Oh hey, Seginustemple, what a pleasant surprise! I woke up 'bout twenty minutes ago and when I opened my eyes I thought of you and how you like to dress up like fries I know you didn't let us know because we're pretty cool guys Those little fry guys from the old McDonald's ads? Yeah you dress up like them, and you don't look half bad Except you're way too tall and you don't wear a shirt And your eyes look really weird and you're kind of a jerk And you're mean to your friends, and you stole from your dad And you ate all the steak your dying dog could have had But all that aside I think you're still pretty cool Even though when you dress like fry guys you look like kind of a fool Seginustemple You rap like a good lil christian and my spittin is wiccan This wicked style's laced versatile, the fetus's taste like chicken Live stream of my flow, folks say it's water-walkin good As a miracle should be, see, I'm Tiger Woods Look, my lyrical links is off the chains Like when Lincoln reigned and emance-proclaimed This railroad aint fo trains and I'm sound underground I'm ultrasonic, but you don't need it to see me squirmin around You'll hear me coming and still won't know what hit ya I can blow you away humming - until I get rid ya Like burying a pest under my jackboot oppressed Cesarian not required to take out Herman Hesse Fetusbucketeer Hermann Hesse? Check out Narcissus and Goldmund You might learn a few things 'round page two-hundred ninety-one See that's the part where Goldmund, the good little guy, goes to the city for the first time in his life and asks why all the people mill around with these blank looks on their faces - He thinks they're mindless, they've lost their way - they're just filling up spaces in their lives where they don't have anything else to do, and you know, just a little, this reminds me of YOU - Answer this - when's the last time that you did something good or you did something right? When's the last time you questioned your life? I suspect you'll end up dead when you're in your late seventies - But I doubt anyone'll have anything good to say when they're reading your eulogy. Seginustemple Well I sure appreciate the reccomendate on the readin and you know I don't stop to sniff a rose, I be speedin racing through life never wondrin the purpose just adjacent to the now, never freehandin my verses ignorance is bliss and the masses brains is worthless complacent with the mundane, chained to boredom curses So I broke out to see what reality can let me be and really alls revealed is how quick you are to flee when faced with squirrels and you buy your girl fake pearls and your facial hair makes you look like your name is earl in that picture of you I forget where it's from and the worst thing about reality is that your raps are really dumb ---- Battle 13: Cokes vs. DSRage ~The Score~ Cokes: 9 DSRage: 0 ~The Raps~ Cokes From the Green Mile to Green Hill to the Em'rald City Cokes is back, call rap's Hall of Fame Committee You're so white you reflect light? Boy, that ain't pretty You're so white you can't write? Ain't that a pity My flow's always timeless, spit with caustic acidity You're a mess, a blight, just a rappin' deformity Can't possibly hope to match my verbosity I'm only writin' this verse outta necessity, no effort needed to beat a Ripley's curiosity, 'cause you winnin' this **** is an impossibility Just ask your girl about my lingual agility -- had her screamin' last night while I licked her kitty DSRage 12 lines that rhyme; What's up with that? You were going for clever, yet came out flat, You constantly eat **** and yet I'm more phat, Yes, I said ****, I think you're into scat. Now all of you must know, I'm a pretty gentle guy, And I brought it to the rap, you wanna know why? Your raps are fragile, to Aeon you're a farcry, It's okay, did I hurt you? You're not gonna die! I've stolen your pride, I'm a raccoon, I've stormed on your parade, I'm a monsoon, My rap is almost over and with a light change of tune (I say); Lost is almost over and your journey will be soon. Cokes You say you're a gentle guy, lemme see you Rage Makin' **** jokes? Mother****er act your age You're no monsoon, maybe you're an altostratus When I'm done, ya gonna need a breathin' apparatus You were right about a Journey, but don't start believin' that you got a chance, 'cause soon you'll be leavin' on a jet plane, next to John Denver in your casket All because your pasty ass made me blow a gasket Learn now that I'm sicker than the smallpox virus Been rappin' so long, I got rhymes on papyrus So fall in line and bow down to my highness Lest I dub thee royal court *****, Ryley Cyrus DSRage I've been told by many that I suck at rap but now I am about to unload on your lap and let me tell you, it's such a big load I haven't beat it in days; I'm about to explode What am I beating it to, you ask? I got yo momma to strip- twas an easy task. Now bend over momma, and take my bullet Ooh, your backside! I love your mullet! Yo momma's so fun, how much will she cost? fifteen cents? She's not worth the loss. I guess I will steal her again one day and we will have fun, mmmmmmk? ---- Battle 14: MaxedOutRyu vs. Rollthebones ~The Score~ MaxedOutRyu: 0 Rollthebones: 6 ~The Raps~ MaxedOutRyu i might as well battle you, nothing better to dobr but hold on a second, who are you? yeah i seen you post a few times here and there but i pulled your gamercard and your not known anywhere over here, i'm known as MOR just got off the phone and your girl wanted MOR...E of me, she woke up with her vision blurry couldn't help it though, she wanted me to hurry she wanted to see my kids just look what i did or look at what i can do just pass your turn so i can start verse two Rollthebones Maybe I should pass, so you can try another time, See I’m in my prime, with rhymes sublime. You say my girl wanted some more, do you? When you’re this underwhelming, I’m sure that’s true. And her vision was blurry, just like your rhymes, I don’t even know what you’re sayin’ sometimes This is my domain; I’m the number one MC *****, they call me Mario, you can be Luigi. I’ve got 4 lines left, that’s way more than I need, Its agreed that my skills exceed, just concede, Ryu, it’s done, don’t make me say it again Don’t think you’ll win - I’m not “sure you can”. MaxedOutRyu yeah it's verse 2 time to finish what i done to you your not sure that i can win well it was done before you went in your not sure what i said in my rhyme well let me break it down one time when i said her vision was blurry my stuff came out in a hurry she didnt know how to react so she hurried and called aflac this is small taste of whats to come **** everyone, i does this for fun Rollthebones You do this for fun, good, you made me laugh With that weak crap used to start the second half. Your boring lines could render some numb, With all this talk about you and your ***. Nobody wants to hear that talk of your ****, Your premature genitalia lost its allure quick. You must be "nuts" thinkin’ you can "beat" me, With rhymes as unneeded as scentless potpourri. So try to keep up, I’ll say it once again, Keep your **** off the page, your rhymes in your brain It’s evident you need a “how to rap” tutorial, That’s it, it’s over, I’ll set up the meMORial ---- Battle 15: Shaggy vs. Furious J ~The Score~ Shaggy: Forfeit Furious J: Wins by disqualification ~The Raps~ Shaggy this whole thing seems ******ed and I almost didn't do this but once I get started boy you know I can't miss sizing up the competition, Who? you call youself Judicious F? I'm gonna rip hard into you and when I'm done there'll be noth'n left you better bring your best guns yeah your ryhmes better not be shabby cause guess what son, your mess's with the monster known as Shaggy Furious J Man what took you so long, were you changin' your tampon? You drop your rap wrong, and act like you just got your groove on? Well sound the gong, here comes J with the reckless abandon. Tearin' through the throng, with spite, malice, and wanton. A clean cut veteran, who nobody's better than My prime rhyme's sublime, yours belongs in a litter bin Don't spit your **** if you can't fill it with wit Sit out this bit, you're too pitiful, you ain't got the grit Why even enter this contest if you ain't got the skill set If you're here just to jest, knowin you ain't got my will met Too meek to seek the peak, just a freak and a geek Your words are so weak, I'd do worse vs. a bye week ---- Battle 16: Princess Anri vs. AlecTrevelyan006 ~The Score~ Princess Anri: 1 AlecTrevelyan006: 11 ~The Raps~ Princess Anri I'm sure you'd love to hear me spit twelve lines about my *****. Instead, I'll let you suck it and then spit some gangsta tennis. I'll take your ass out like I'm Rafa Nadal without the yellow ball. You can't even hit stuff offa the wall, much less Fed at 4 all. You don't have what it takes to progress here, like Henman in a major. If I had to make a guess here, I'd say you're a million to one wager. Everyone fears my fatal, backhand hit but not down the line. It's like fighting a prenatal, unplanned kid that isn't even mine. A choice your mom supported, I reached in there without a glove. I close my hand--you're aborted. An ace kicked out at 40-love. Unlike my dick, you never even made it to your mom's snatch. Message Preview then *click* That's game, set, and match. AlecTrevelyan006 I'm facing Madam Anri, the so-called tennis master But when it comes to rapping, every line is a disaster Your rhymes are off, your insults lame, you faulted on the serve Now it's time that Alec deals out the ace-ing you deserve You stumble through your lines without any rhyme or resaon While mine can cause more boners than a topless Leah Dizon You just can't take the pressure, like A-Roid in postseason If raps were for your country, yours would qualify as treason My raps induce elations, yours are an abomination You are a living lesson in failed communication Attempts to find your flow are more painful than castration In this battle you're like France; your best bet's capitulation Princess Anri If that wasn't a joke post, I won't need the extra time like you did. Just ask our Coke Host, I'd succeed both in my prime or wounded. Last time around, I finished in second place. I lost by one ****ing vote. Time for me to come again. Choose: on your face or down your throat. Looks like you already struck out. And I ain't even thrown the first pitch. About time for you to get the **** out. Or get your hymen burst, *****. Please, don't worry. I'll be gentle. It'll be over in a hurry, like a rental. You like 'em furry cause you're mental. Both underage and oriental. I like my girls to be mature. When they've already grown their pubes. You like your girls insecure. Cause you can only own the n00bs. I think it's about time I bend you. Ass over my knee for a spank. After I outrhyme and end you. Lass, I'll make you walk the plank. AlecTrevelyan006 I think I've had enough of this vicious verbal volley Now I'll show that facing me's the purest form of folly This little game was nice but rappin' aint your thing This match will be a rape, cause I'm Japan to your Nanking Keep away from fire, I'm more bomb that Ted Kaczynski While all you do is blow more dicks than Monica Lewinsky I'm doper than Roger Clemens, I'm fly-er than Jeff Goldblum While your life should have ended before you left the womb My rhymes are so smokin' they can give you emphyzema While yours are less effective than relief efforts from FEMA My lines are always killer, I'm rap's velociraptor Here ends your life of rapping, I just wrote the final chapter See Also * Week 1 * Week 2 * Week 3 * Week 4 * Week 5 * Postseason * Back to the Standings and Results page Category: Board 8 RAP BATTLE